Mother Bear

tommy (2006)

MOTHER BEAR

"I used to think I was intellectually stimulated…" She walked tall, marking the mother bear's steps, not cold and not weary. "I've seen the mother polar bear protect her young." The mother polar bear stopped, looked back at her. Julia raised her spear, her eyes filled with insanity. The bear looked into her eyes, begging to know why. Julia pushed the spear into Verina's heart. Verina died on her feet, eyes still open, and fell to the ice.

DEFINE "BATTLE".

"I don't remember how we got here. I only remember Verina. I loved her… I think she could tell you how long we've been here." Julia hugged the sealskin tighter around her shoulders and walked from the cave. Yesterday's tracks were invisible and high noon made her snow blind, if only temporarily. It didn't matter; she had walked the same path hundreds of times before. Her bare feet struck through the snow as deep as a foot, always over the horizon.

She sat underneath a rock overhang that had a drift as tall as two people growing against it. A lone icicle hung from the overhang, twelve inches long. The sun caught it and a drop of water fell from the tip. "Verina tells me that she uses that to count the time, and when there are fewer stars in the sky than there are snowflakes on the tundra, we'll be able to die…but, you see, the tundra is a dangerous place.

"One night, Verina came to me and said, 'Julia, I counted the stars tonight and there was one less than last night, and so our world is a little darker. And tomorrow I'll count the snow.' And so she did".

BATTLE THEORY

"I will always love you, Verina."

"Always means nothing, Julia."

"How can you say that?"

"Three-hundred times it has dripped and we always follow the same path 'home'. How long has it been? I count but I don't know. I have a lifetime of memories just of this icicle. And another lifetime of memories of the cave. And a hundred lifetimes of memories of the tundra. And a hundred more of the desert. So how can I be burdened with the memories of more than one lifetime? We walk, but we don't get tired. We freeze but we don't feel cold."

"Why?"

"Every day I count the snowflakes and every night I count the stars. I've counted the snow and stars more times than there are stars in the sky and snow on the ground."

"Take a walk with me, Verina. Let's go home. Let's go back to the cave."

Verina rose to her feet and wrapped the sealskin around her body.

It never snowed here. The sky was always crystal clear, clear enough to see every star between the cave and the edge of the universe, clear enough to become intimately familiar with every light in the sky. So clear that Verina imagined she might fall off if she wasn't careful. And yet, the tracks in the snow marking their journey from the cave had already been covered.

Julia pulled the spear away from the throat of the mother bear that she had slaughtered and the animal's blood spilled and melted snow. Steam rose from the stain, clearly visible in the full moonlight that stayed the same every night. The blood was the only sign of a non-existent struggle, the mother bear offering it to please a girl that she loved.

"I can't sleep, Verina. If I can't sleep, then I can't dream."

The girls started walking, always over the horizon. They knew the way back and the moon guided their path. Part of Verina died on the ice that night.

The sun was high and they still had not made it to the cave. The wind scraped their skin and pushed them back two steps for every one that they advanced. Julia stopped moving and the wind stopped blowing. Verina turned and looked back at her. They were near the icicle now. Julia dropped her spear in the snow and broke the icicle off at the base.

"What are you doing?" Verina took a step back and Julia pressed the icicle into her own belly, stopping short of drawing blood.

"You always do this me, Verina," Julia said. "Make me want to bleed."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything is supposed to erode."

Verina began running toward the ridges and Julia gave chase, marking her footsteps and leaving no trail. Twice over the horizon there stood a drift that went forever in both directions, an immeasurable amount of counted snow that had blown against a ridge.

On the edge of the ridge there stood a square black façade, miniscule in the distance but enormous in scale. Verina had never seen it before. At the center of the base of the façade there was a square opening. There was moonlight on the other side. Verina had to make it to the façade before the sun went down, or she would have to count the stars again, and stopping was not option.

She neared the façade, Julia never far behind her. The few brightest stars had already begun to appear overhead. Verina counted as she climbed. Julia stopped at the edge of the ridge and peered up at the façade. "Verina," she shouted, "You've forgotten about the nature of this place, and I can't stop thinking about it." The opening in the façade moved from the base to the top, out of Verina's reach against the impossibly smooth granite. Verina lost her grip on the rock. She fell off the ridge, leaving blood and bone on the rocks all the way behind her. When she landed at Julia's feet, she was broken and covered in blood. Julia grabbed a rock and struck Verina in the face with it.

Julia sat on Verina's chest and raised the icicle spear over her head. Verina looked Julia in the eyes. "I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me."

"Some creatures suffer their entire lives." Julia stabbed Verina through the heart. She died on the ice.

MEMORY AND POSSIBILITY

Julia and Verina were walking in the desert on top of a dune. The heat was intense but they had to cover their skin or lose it to the sandstorm.

They came upon the monoliths. Jet-black granite, eight of them in a four by two pattern, rising from the sand halfway to the sky. Julia and Verina looked at each other, then ahead again. These monoliths were different, but so was everything. And like everything, the monoliths were inconsequential to their journey. The girls walked on either side of the monoliths…Verina ran her fingertips gently across one of them as she passed; she could see it and hear it, she wanted to feel it to.

When Julia passed, Verina had vanished. Julia called out for her, frantically searching in between the monoliths and the area around them. The sun went down and the desert began to change verticality. Julia had no choice but to make the journey back to the tundra alone. She wept but stayed silent as she walked, always over the horizon.

Julia arrived back at the frozen cave that night to find Verina huddled by a fire. She was bloodied and her bones were broken, she was almost dead.

Verina looked up at Julia, and asked her, "What happened?"

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